Ok, so tomorrow is my anniversary for quitting smoking, 6 months.

I thought it was suppose to get easier, NOT!! I think right about now I could eat a cigarette. I just want to smoke. I like smoking.

When I quit, I signed up at this website: www.quitnet.com it is very very cool. They send me updates all the time. I think the last update was like almost 3000 cigarettes not smoked and I had saved like 15 days of my life. (Or maybe it is that I got back 15 days) Now, my husband would say that is great, 15 more days to spend with me. I tend to look at it like....ONLY 15 DAYS??? YOU JUST HAVE TO BE KIDDING!!! I have not smoked for 6 months and I only saved 15 days. How am I going to continue this?

I tell you how, this is the way I look at it. For the first 6 weeks I used the patch (come on now, I smoked for 26 years, I needed something). Then I used sucky candy. Well, I used that when I was on the patch also but more so when I "did not need the patch anymore". Now, 6 months later and lots of pounds heavier (yes, my husband says that he likes me this way, better then smoking - puke puke puke) I don't need the sucky candy anymore either. At least I don't think I do.

So, I cannot start again because I don't think that I can go through that first day, starting with the first cigarette "not smoked". I cried most of the day on January 1 because it was almost like losing a best friend. It sucked so bad.

I will need lots and lots of prayers when I am on vacation, my sister and brother in law smoke and although they know that I quit I am sure if I just helped myself to a cigarette of 2 (or 3 or 4) they would not say anything about it.

I am rambling. I am ending now. I know, this blog kinda sucked!! I want a cigarette!!!

On a better note 2 weeks till Vegas and John Edward