Friday, June 30, 2006

These are not my children nor are they my wonderful grandchildren. A friend of mine e-mailed this to me. I think it is wonderful. The caption at the top of this picture was: When kids go bad at home. I love it.

I can remember when my husband threw out my son. Yes, he was 18 but he was still not ready to leave the comforts of home. He was not in school but was looking for a job. He was living in our basement so it is not like he was in the way of anyone but my X did not get along with J (my son). It started when J was probably 14 or 15 and he got into that rebellious teenage crap that all teenagers get into, including me and especially including my X. I think it all started when J would not do something the very second that the X told him to do it. I really can't remember all the details but I remember J left and did not do the chore exactly like my X wanted him to do it. So instead of sitting J down and talking to him like an adult would do, the X started screaming at him the minute he walked in the door and then gave him the silent treatment for probably a week or so. J lost total respect for the X at that point. When J would ask the X a question, the X would just pretend that J was not even in the room, man that pissed me off. I finally told J that he needed to come to me if he needed anything, We all knew that the X could not be the adult in the situation.

We lived like that for 3 or 4 years, sometimes the X would want to be J's best friend and another day (could even be the next day, or the same day) J would start talking to him about something and the X would just shut down.

One time the X got pissed at something that did not even have anything to do with J and he screamed at him for it, when we tried to explain that J did not have anything to do with it the X just would not listen. He finally just grounded J (this was after he found out that J had plans for the night). I told the X that he was punishing J for doing something he did not even do and that I was going to tell him he was not grounded. I also gave the solution that the X could tell him therefore saving "face" but he told me that he was not speaking to J anymore. I told J to go ahead and leave. About an hour went by and the X called the police to report J as a runaway. When the police came to the house to take a report, the X went outside to meet them, hoping that I would not know they were there, trying to be sneaky...what an ass. I saw the police car outside and went out to find out what was going on. They told me that the X had reported J as a runaway and they would try and pick him up. I spoke up right there and then. J was not a runaway, I was his mother and I knew exactly where he was. The look the X gave me was well, first of all priceless, I had never gone against him (not in public anyway) and also the look of death. I was scared shitless but I also knew that I was not going to have the police pick up my 16 year old son on a lie. It was just the X's way of getting back (at a teenager for heaven's sake).

So.....J turns 18 and I can just see the wheels turning in the X's can he get J out of the house??? I don't know why he does not like J, just that J did not listen to him and that to him was disrespectful, and it was, but when I brought up the fact that he did not always listen to his mother, he said that he wanted J to be raised different then he was, he wanted J to be raised better then he was. Any way...getting off track here. A few weeks after J turns 18 we were all at home, it was a Saturday. Someone was in the downstairs bathroom so J asked if he could use the upstairs bathroom to brush his teeth, I said that was fine. Well, someone came to the door for J and I was hollering upstairs for him to hurry up, someone was at the door for him. He did not turn the water off all the way in the sink upstairs. Now, the X (who was a carpenter/plumber/electrician) knew that the upstairs sink was kinda clogged, Not really bad but it was slow to drain, givin this and the fact that J left the water streaming a little, the water started coming over the sink, the floor started getting sopping wet and eventually (after J had been gone for about 4-5 hours) the water started seeping through the floor, onto the ceiling of the downstairs. We caught it pretty much then but the X had a FIT!! Yes, I know it was going to cost some money to fix it but it was an ACCIDENT, that is why they call it an ACCIDENT!!

He started screaming and I mean screaming at the top of his lungs (so the neighbors and Jesus Christ himself could hear). He went downstairs and started packing all of J's things and throwing them out the backdoor onto the lawn. Screaming the entire time. I had to go out and pick up everything from the lawn and put as much as I could into my car to save it. Finally I turned to him and asked him what he would have done if it would have been me that left the water on by accident or one of the girls. He just turned to me with a wicked wicked look on his face and told me (and I quote)" If it was you, then I would be throwing you the fuck out of this house too".

That night it was up to me when J came home to tell him what had happened, he went to stay with a friend and things quieted down some. But that is another blog. That was the day that I knew I would be leaving, not that day but I would not live with such an evil man. That was also one of the hardest days of my life, I have tears running down my face as I think of how cruel that man was and how much I put up with. Thank God, that I am in a marriage where my husband would do anything for me or my children.

And as for the X, he is in Wisconsin. An alcoholic and has no friends, I feel sorry for him but this he did to himself for being such a bitter bitter man.

And now I leave you with a e-mail that I got from a friend, I wish everyone a healthy happy weekend. Do you all have to work on Monday? Yes, I do.

$20.00 - Sometimes we just need to be reminded!

A well-known speaker started off his seminar by holding up a $20.00 bill. In the room of 200, he asked, "Who would like this $20 bill?" Hands started going up. He said, "I am going to give this $20 to one of you but first, let me do this. He proceeded to crumple up the $20 dollar bill. He then asked, "Who still wants it?" Still the hands were up in the air. Well, he replied, "What if I do this?" And he dropped it on the ground and started to grind it into the floor with his shoe. He picked it up, now crumpled and dirty. "Now, who still wants it?" Still the hands went into the air. My friends, we have all learned a very valuable lesson. No matter what I did to the money, you still wanted it because it did not decrease in value. It was still worth $20. Many times in our lives, we are dropped, crumpled, and ground into the dirt by the decisions we make and the circumstances that come our way. We feel as though we are worthless. But no matter what has happened or what will happen, you will never lose your value. Dirty or clean, crumpled or finely creased, you are still priceless to those who DO LOVE you.

Thursday, June 29, 2006

Ok, so tomorrow is my anniversary for quitting smoking, 6 months.

I thought it was suppose to get easier, NOT!! I think right about now I could eat a cigarette. I just want to smoke. I like smoking.

When I quit, I signed up at this website: it is very very cool. They send me updates all the time. I think the last update was like almost 3000 cigarettes not smoked and I had saved like 15 days of my life. (Or maybe it is that I got back 15 days) Now, my husband would say that is great, 15 more days to spend with me. I tend to look at it like....ONLY 15 DAYS??? YOU JUST HAVE TO BE KIDDING!!! I have not smoked for 6 months and I only saved 15 days. How am I going to continue this?

I tell you how, this is the way I look at it. For the first 6 weeks I used the patch (come on now, I smoked for 26 years, I needed something). Then I used sucky candy. Well, I used that when I was on the patch also but more so when I "did not need the patch anymore". Now, 6 months later and lots of pounds heavier (yes, my husband says that he likes me this way, better then smoking - puke puke puke) I don't need the sucky candy anymore either. At least I don't think I do.

So, I cannot start again because I don't think that I can go through that first day, starting with the first cigarette "not smoked". I cried most of the day on January 1 because it was almost like losing a best friend. It sucked so bad.

I will need lots and lots of prayers when I am on vacation, my sister and brother in law smoke and although they know that I quit I am sure if I just helped myself to a cigarette of 2 (or 3 or 4) they would not say anything about it.

I am rambling. I am ending now. I know, this blog kinda sucked!! I want a cigarette!!!

On a better note 2 weeks till Vegas and John Edward

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

I think this is the site where you can read about my X's brother.

Now on to better news....I am going to California and Vegas next month.

My sister called me about a month ago and asked me if I would come out for her birthday, all expenses paid. She said this is what she wants for her birthday. She asked if I could get the time off. Well, I told you all that I do have the best boss. And of coarse it is no problem to get time off. Then she calls me and asks if I want to go and see John Edward you know, the phychic dude. I said that would be great, she says it is $ 175.00 per ticket, I said ouch, she says no, I am paying for the tickets, do you want to go to San Diego, San Francisco or one other place. Me? I don't care, I just know it is going to be a blast and I want to go. So, she calls me a few hours later and says that they are all sold out. Said that she is going to look around and see what she can come up with.

She calls me back the next day and said "instead of coming in September, could you come in July?" I told her that I could probably work that out and she told me that she could get tickets in Vegas for John Edward and that we could stay there for a few days. WOW !!

How much fun do you think we are going to have??? Next she calls me and tells me to look at this place we will be staying at. It is called the Wynn Las Vegas, go ahead and take a look at it under, scroll down to Wynn Las Vegas and take a look at the panoramic view rooms, they are incredible, I am so excited.

Now, let me tell you about last night. First, I have told you that I gave my son, his fiancee and there children the date of July 1st to find somewhere. They are old enough to make babies, they are old enough to support babies and live on their own. Well, we found out last night that they have not saved any money except what they have given to us to hold for them ($ 160.00) now tell me, where in the world are they going to move on that amount of money? Then they say that well.......They think they might be going back to Wisconsin for a few months. My son has a friend that they can stay with and he can get him a job making pretty good money. They think they can make money, send at least half back to us and then in 3 months they will have the money for a place and some put away so that they can find jobs again. Here is my problem with that (maybe I am being a little selfish but shoot, I really don't care if I am or not) I think that if they move, they probably won't be coming back to North Carolina. My son's fiancee's mom and dad live in Wisconsin. I also think that they are not taking my grandchildren away from me like that. Now, if I could be sure that they would come back, I think I would be alright with it. (Probably not) but it brings tears to my eyes when I think they are going to take my babies away from me. You have to know that their daughter is going to be 4 this year and she is very close to me, or maybe I should say that I am very close to her either way it will not be good for either of us. Regardless, I don't want them to go. I already have a grandson there that I never get to see, although I just talked to my daughter and I am still trying to convince her to come home.

OK, enough ranting. I will end now and try and think of something for my next post.

Monday, June 26, 2006

Soooooo Mary decided to take the chance. Now if you are just getting her you need to scroll down to read the first Monday blog and then come back up here or you will be just weirded (is that a word?) out.

Mary breaks into the garage, it is the easiest to get into. She sees what appears to be a large rug rolled up inside of the garage. The police still will not help her because they cannot go in unless they know a crime has been committed, otherwise it will not stand up in court. So, Mary goes into the garage and keeping her back to the rug leans down and just picks up a corner of the rug. That is all the police need, they go into the garage and bring Mary out. It is Shelby and she has been dead for a few days. How sad is that people? Going into your sisters garage and finding her dead body....I just can't imagine.

Jim is no where to be found and of coarse a APB is put out on him. Now, first let me back up and tell you that those of us that knew Jim, also knew in our hearts that he did it. But, we were hoping that maybe, just maybe he did not. Maybe it was a drug deal that went wrong, yes, Shelby would still be dead but Jim just could not have done this to the women that he loves. Let me finish this and I will go back to my original story about my X. Jim is finally found a few days later, coming out of a crack house. He gets into Shelby's car and drives away. The police pull him over and arrest him. He confesses. Breaks all of our hearts but especially his son's, what a tragedy. STUPID DRUGS!!!

Now, so here we are, I know that Shelby is dead but Jim had not been found yet and I have to go and pick up my X at the nut hospital. I have to tell him about his brother. I don't know how he is going to take this but who else is going to tell him. I go and pick him up. I am driving and I tell him about it. He just kind of sits there is silence, does not know what to say. He is in shock. Finally he tells me that he had a dream and was going to call Shelby to find out how she was doing but now it is to late.

We get to the house and I drop him off and go to work. I still do not want to be around him but I tell him that I will come back after work and we will talk. When I get back to the house he is very calm. He tells me that he has come to terms with me leaving but he would like me to stay for a while, just as room mates so that I can help him with financials and that as soon as he is set he will help me find an apartment and he will help me move. He says that he knows what an asshole he has been over the last several years and he does not blame me at all. Now, I am taking all of this in but really not buying it one bit. I know that as soon as I let my guard down he will turn right back into the a**hole that he has always been. I told him that was fine. I could do that but we would have rules. The first being that I would be sleeping on the couch. I did not want to sleep with him let alone have sex with him again. When I said that it was over, I really had to look into myself and know that I was doing the right thing. I had to make up my mind that this would be done, that I would never have to go through this pain again.

This worked out fine until I would wake up in the middle of the night and he would be sitting on the floor staring at me, really creepy. I would ask him not to do that, tell him that it was just to weird. He still did it folks, it was so weird. So after a few weeks I told him that I was looking for an apartment. Low and behold the next day he came home from work and told me that he had found an apartment for me. It was a little further from work but it was affordable for the time being, the only thing was that until I found something better our daughter would have to stay with him most of the time because otherwise she would have to change schools and she did not want to do that. I talked to her and she was fine with it as long as I would come and pick her up when she wanted to come over. I had no problem with that.

After I moved out, he was always where I was, it was almost like he was one step ahead of me. When I was at the gas station, he was there. When I was at the grocery store, he was there. When I was at the Laundromat, he was there....Even though he had a washer and dryer at home. He would leave notes on my apt. Door, in my car and he would call me constantly. He came over at least 3 times a week and begged me to come "home". He was even really sickening nice to my son and his fiancee. He was letting them come over to the house and eat with him, watch TV and of coarse my son was soaking it in, he had never had this attention from him, he (my son) knew that it was not going to last but he was going to milk it for all it was worth. The final straw came when the X came over to my apartment got on his hands and knees and begged me to come home. When I told him that it was just not going to happen and he needed to move on he asked me if he could talk to me privately. When I stepped outside with him he told me that something has been on his chest for a long time. He said that one day a few years ago, I wanted to kill you. He said that he went out into the garage and got a hatchet, brought it into the house, into our bedroom and held it over my head. He said that "he could just not do it, he loved me too much". This is when I knew without a doubt, I had to leave. I knew that I had to get far far away. And with that I moved to North Carolina.

Wow, reliving that takes a lot out of a person. I should finish this up with after I moved to NC he would call me all the time. He would ask me that if he moved down here could the two of us date? I always said no. When it finally got into his head that it was in fact over, then the mean, nasty man came out again. Then it was all my fault for everything, I was the bad one. He always gave to me. I was just the bitc* that always wanted everything.

After a while he found a girlfriend (her name was Karen....Go figure). They got along pretty good for a while and then he started hitting her. I think the last time he hit her (or the last time that I know about) he ripped off her clothes and threw her out of her own house naked as a jay bird in the middle of winter. She had to call the police and have him arrested. The judge told him they were to have no contact for a year, guess what, she picked him up from jail and they just moved to another county. Now, she is through with him, as far as I know. My daughter that lives in Wisconsin says that he is an alcoholic, she says that if she needs to find him, he will be at the bar and he will be drunk or at least on his way to being drunk.

On that note, I should tell you that I feel sorry for him. I spent 20 years with him and then it was over. I hoped that he could find someone to love him like I think he deserved to be loved, a love that I could no longer give. I think that he would have to love himself before he could have someone love him and I don't think he even likes himself. I can tell you that I loved him and I still do love him, I just don't like him at all. I think you have to like the person you are with just as much as you have to love them. If you do not like them, it will never work. We had many many good times in 20 years. I am so glad that I can say that (my husband would tell you that he was married 10 years before me and he can not think of a single "good time" that he had with his X, I think that is really really sad).

So that is a story of part of my life. I have been through much much more but this is enough for Monday's blog. Hope everyone has a great day.....Any questions?? I don't know what I will write about tomorrow...oh wait, I am going on a trip. I will tell ya'all about that tomorrow.

Good Monday Morning to everyone !!

I had to go back and read what I had written on Friday, I did not want to start all over again. So I left you with him telling me to "Get the F out". I know that he did not mean it and I for sure know that he never expected me to take him up on that offer but, me being me with BIG balls I finally told him that I was leaving. I would be looking for an apartment for me and the kids but for now I would be going to stay with my best friend in the whole world Tammy ( she does not know about this blog but she will someday and just so she knows....I love you Tam!!). I told him that I would tell the children (I should tell you here that ALL of the children had in the last year or so asked me why I stayed with him) My oldest was 19 and not living with us any longer (because the X threw him out of the house, but that is another post for another day) my middle girl was 17 and my youngest was 14. Ok, I am getting off coarse here so let me continue.

I packed a few things and left the house. The next day I went to work and at about 10:30 in the morning I got a call from my X. He was very very lethargic and I knew it was going to be trouble. I left work and went to his house (yes, I called it his house even when we were together because even though we were married when we bought the house he NEVER referred it to as our house). I walked in and called his name, no answer. I went upstairs to the bedroom and he was sitting in front of the door and would not move so that I could get inside the bedroom and talk to him. I told him that if he did not talk to me I was going to call the police, he still would not answer me so I knew that either he was playing a game or he could not answer me. I went downstairs to the phone and picked it up, he had the upstairs phone off the hook so I could not call out. I yelled at him to hang up the phone....No response. I left the house and went to the convience store down the road and used a payphone to call 911. I told them that I had left my husband and I thought he was trying to kill himself or something. The police met me at the store and followed me to his house. When we walked in my X was sitting at the desk looking like hell. Yes, he had come downstairs all by himself, but did not think that I would really go and get the police. They talked to him and told him they were going to call for an ambulance because he could not even speak (turned out he had drank a bottle of Bacardi Rum and took some pills). He went to the 4th floor at the hospital (the looney bin) and had to stay for 5 days.

Soooo - I had to move back to the house, but that was OK, because he was not there. He would not take my phone calls the first day he was there. I really didn't care, I really thought this was all done just to get me back in the house. The second day the nurse called me and asked me to bring him some clothes, a toothbrush, comb etc. and said that he would like to see me. I really did not want to go....I dreaded going.....I was NOT going to feel sorry for him. But, me and the kids (all of them, including my son, who my X had not talked to since he kicked him out... Don' t think for a minute that my son did not come over to the house, he did, my X just did not talk to him, he would go into another room when he was there) Well, my X knew one of our biggest problems was how he treated my son. So when we got to the hospital the X was all hugs for everyone, just as happy as he could be. (GREAT BIG PUKE HERE). He told me that he would be getting out in a few days and that we hoped we could sit down and talk about things then. I said that would be fine. I knew that I was still leaving but I did want him to get better.

When I got to the house that afternoon my brother in law Mike, called me. Now, I had not called any of my X's family to let them know about him because I thought it would be up to the X to tell his family, not me. Mike wanted to know if I had heard anything from their other brother Jim or his fiancee (Shelby) lately. I told Mike that I had not spoken to them since Christmas (this was in April). Mike told me that both Jim and his fiancee were missing. Said Shelby's sister had come over to Mike's house and asked if Mike would go with her to Jim and Shelby's house to check it out. Let me back up a little here and give you some information that you will need. Jim (who I love dearly) had become addicted to crack. His fiancee Shelby was doing everything that she could to get him away from the drug and it seemed like she could for a while but then the devil would rear his ugly head and Jim would go back onto it again, it was a vicious cycle. Jim was wonderful when he was away from it but he was a totally different person when he was doing crack and that is why we chose to stay away from him for awhile. We knew at Christmas that he was using again. Mike said that Shelby's sister thinks something happened to them and she had filed a missing persons report. Mike did not want to go to their house because he did not know if Jim would be there or not and did not want to get into a hassle with his brother. He also did not know that he did not go Shelby's sister would go alone.

I am going to call Shelby's sister Mary for now. I do not remember her real name and I don't want to keep typing Shelby's sister. So..... Mary went over to Jim and Shelby's house alone, knocked on the door and no one was home. She called the police and had then meet her there. When the police got there she told them the story and told them that she was afraid for her sister. Wait......gotta back up here a little bit. I think when Mary had finally gone to Jim and Shelby's house, it was already known that Jim had been calling in to Shelby's work for her to be gone, told her boss that Shelby was with her mom up north helping an aunt that was ill. It was not until Shelby's mom called to speak with her at work and was told that "Shelby is with her mom up north" that things started to be weird. Any way... The police got to Jim and Shelby's house but told Mary that there was really nothing they could do. The place was locked up and they could not break in. Now, Mary could break in and they would look the other way but if Jim or Shelby wanted to press charges for breaking and entering they could. Mary decided to take the chance.

Now, I am going to stop here because I HAVE to get some work done. I will come back later with the rest of the story.

Friday, June 23, 2006

Happy Friday do-do-do (me doing the happy Friday dance) !!

Lets see.... I left off at stupid me, taking him back.

A few months later HE decided that WE would quit smoking. Now here I was, about 24 years old and some man was telling me that WE were going to quit smoking. I don't think so. We got into a huge fight and then it happened.....He started hitting me...A lot. Sat on me and just punched me over and over again. I finally got away and went to the neighbors house, but did I call the police and have him arrested NO.....Stupid me. I just called one of my friends who just happened to be a police officer and asked him what I could do. He said that he should come over and arrest him but he would do what I wanted. He also said that I DO NOT want to take the children and go to my parents in California, that would be taking them over the state line and it would be considered kidnapping. I KNEW my X was not that smart so I did the only thing I could do, I called my dad and mom and together (they were divorced at the time) they got airline tickets for me to come out to California to live. You would think that would be the end of the story wouldn't you but NOOOO.

I stayed in California for about 6 months, I found a job there that I liked but when I was laid off and my X calling me constantly to come home I finally caved and went back to Minnesota. I moved into my own apartment with the kids and he "visited". I did not take him back at first but eventually he started spending the night and then eventually he moved in and I got pregnant with my last child. I can honestly say that he never hit me after the first time. What he did was almost worse. It was the mental abuse that started more so then.

He was always putting me down, he was that "man", I would never be anything without him...blah blah blah. The sad thing is, I finally started believing him. He just beat me down and beat me down until there was nothing left.

We decided to move to Wisconsin to raise our children. Minneapolis was just getting to...I don't know....I don't want to say rough or that there were gangs because there are those things all over. But, we decided to move to the country...Or a smaller town and raise our children there, OK, he decided and I of coarse went along with him cause who was I to say that I did not want to go. He made more money than I did so, I quit my job (that I loved) and moved to Wisconsin, away from all my friends and co-workers.

I did not get a job right away in Wisconsin because my youngest was not in school yet and because my X told me that if we moved I would not have to work because he would be making all kinds of money (yeah, right). After my daughter started school I decided that I was sick to death of staying at home all day and I was going to find a job. It took a while but finally I saw an ad in the paper for someone who knew the Twin Cities and could deliver in the afternoon. What a perfect job, I knew the Twin Cities, I grew up there. I went and filled out an application. Had an interview and wa la, I had a job. The only thing I did not think of was, what happens when we get 5 feet of snow on the ground. I did not hardly ever drive in the snow and ice and now, here I was taking a job that included driving in the wintertime. Regardless, I loved the job. At first there were several women working there. I should tell you, this company that I went to work at was called Pro Paint Inc., it is owned by 2 brothers Pat and Mike and I love them both dearly. They mix and deliver automotive paint to body shops etc.

After a few months Pat asked me if I would come "in house" and start doing secretarial work. I thought about it for a while, you see, I loved going out everyday to different body shops, flirting with the boys, having basically my day to myself as long as I got everything delivered. But, eventually I did decide to go inhouse. Well, shortly there after, I found myself being the ONLY girl, the others had quit...So just me and all the boys. Now, I have to tell you that I am a big flirt but also that everyone knew that I was married and I would not cheat on my husband so I was what the call a safe flirt. I had so much fun at work and looked forward to going to work everyday. The boys steadily raised my self esteem and after 7 years of working there I grew balls, that's right GREAT BIG GIANT BALLS! One day my X and I got into an argument and he told me "Why don't I just get the f*** out", I turned to him a simple as I could and said very steadily "Be careful, Be very careful what you wish for, it may come true". After that I think we did not speak to each other for probably 2 weeks (now, don't go awww because this happened several times a year, at least once a month we did not speak to each other for a few days at a time.

So, I let it go for a few weeks and I decide, I am done! I need to get out. And with that.....I will leave you until the next post.

Have a great weekend everyone and thanks for stopping by :)

Thursday, June 22, 2006

Well, here it is....Thursday and I don't have any idea what to write about. I think I will tell you a little about myself.

I grew up in Minnesota (and I will be a Vikings fan to the end). My family moved to California in 1979, what a stinking thing to do when your child is in high school. I thought I would "just die" so I stayed in Minnesota with my grandma (bless her heart). Well, you know what happens when your parents are not around, you ALWAYS get into trouble. I did some crazy things and a judge told me that I would have to go to California and live with my parents and not come back to Minnesota until I was at least 21 years old. (I don't know if he could do that or not but because the police brought me to the airport and put me on a plane, I was going to California). I gave my parents such grief, I feel bad about it now, but hindsight is always 20/20.

I started seeing this "boy" when I was 17 and ended up getting pregnant, then I found out that this "boy" was 25 not 18 like he told me. I ended that relationship quick, ICK, I was 17 and I was not going to be with an old man that was 25 and besides, he lied to me about his age. I didn't care that I was going to give birth to his child, shame on him for doing that to me and I just thought that I was old enough and smart enough to handle it myself.

I started letter writing (no e-mail in those days) to an X boyfriend of mine in Minneapolis, he was in Washington at the time, in a Job Corp, getting his stuff together. We wrote quite often and developed more of a friendship.

When he was done at Job Corp he came to California, we got married 4 days after I turned 18 and we promptly moved back to Minnesota. Please it there are any girls out there that read this DO NOT get married when you are 18. He did not want to work, I can't remember the exact reasons but we lived with his mother and she did not get on him to get a job and he complained that it was winter and he had just studied to be a carpenter so there was no work for him. I got the job, he stayed at home with my son (who he eventually adopted when he was 4).

We eventually had 2 more kids (both girls). He was always such a butthead, always had to have everything his way, made me feel like shit all the time, like I was not worth anything. He always said "my way or the highway" like it was something special.

When I had our first daughter, things were pretty good between us. She was wonderful and my son was very proud. When she got to be about 2 and the son was like 3 1/2, My X had an affair. I can remember it like it was yesterday. We had decided that we would go to Iowa to see my relatives. We were having a 3 day weekend or something like that. He was working nights at a plastic factory and so we were going to leave at about 8 in the morning when he got home from work. Well, I waited and waited and he never came home. Now this was before cell phones so I had called everywhere I could think of and nothing!! Now remember, this was on a Friday morning. He finally came home on Tuesday. He comes waltzing in the house, happy as a clam, hickeys all over his neck. I ask him where he has been and he just blows me off. Goes into the bedroom, takes his dresser, puts it in the car and leaves. What an ass. We were staying with his mom so here I was with 2 kids, living with my husbands mother and he is moving out. I was completely devastated. He was gone approximately 2 or 3 weeks and then came home. I took him back, why you ask....Because I was sooooo stupid!!

Ok, that was just a little of my life, it gets so much better.....Stay tuned

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

A new day...

Did you ever wonder how some people can be so nice and others can be cruel if you just look at them the wrong way?

First, let me brag a little about the boss that I have now. He is so good. There is nothing that I cannot talk to him about. He genuinely cares for his people.

Now, let me tell you about the icky boss that I used to have. He thought he was about everyone. Thought he could look down on people because they did not have the money that he has. The last Friday that I worked for him I was on the computer getting the numbers for all the stores that he has and figuring out how much each store made for the that week. He called me and asked me if I was finished yet and I tried to explain to him that my computer had crashed so I was having to do it all by hand, it would take a little while longer and I would let him know when I was done.

He asked to speak to another employee and said that he would talk to me later. When she was done talking to him he had her send him back to me and I tell you...I saw that wrath. He SCREAMED at me that he needed those numbers and he had told me to get it done and G** Da** it when he tells me to do something I am to do it right then. I tried to explain to him once again that I was working on it but he just kept screaming and cursing at me. By this time I was in tears (yes, I am a baby that way) and finally just hung up the phone.

Now, it just so happened that this day was also the day that we (the entire office) got together to send out statements (about 600) of them, this means we had to attach all invoices to the statements, fold them, stick them in an envelope and then I would get them all together and bring them in the mail room, send them through the machine that would lick and stick them and I would bundle them all together to take to the post office. So because of this I decided that I would stay and help with statements but when we were done I was leaving.

The next Monday morning he called me into his office (silly me, I thought he was going to appoligize to me) he sat me down and told me that if I told anyone what had happened there I would be fired immeadiately. Needless to say I just walked back to my desk, cleaned it out and walked out of the office.

It was a fun place to work when he was not around but boy oh boy when he was there it was like he wanted everyone to bow down to him. Hindsight always being 20/20, I just wanted to call him and tell him that no matter how much money you have, this will not get you to Heaven. When we get to the pearly gates, he will have some explaining to do.

So, if you are ever in North or South Carolina, I will warn you about going to Black's Tire Service or dealing with Mr. Ricky Benton. Now, let me tell you one more thing quickly, the rest of his family is supurb. He has 3 sons, a very nice wife (who in my opinion he treats like dirt) and best of all he has a daughter in law who is married to the oldest son. She is like sunshine. But the father is a big puke.

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

You know, I read a lot of blogs a day (approx. 23) and there are 2 that I read that stand out because they are from men that complain about their wives, you know the story...not enough sex, no interest in sex etc. So...I thought that I would change things around here just a little bit. I am not going to complain about my husband because...Well, I have to face it, I am the lucky one in this marriage.

My husband is such a great guy. He is a wonderful provider, a great father and a superb step-father. He is my rock and I don't know what I would do without him. His parents definitely brought him up right. He was brought up in a Christian home, his dad is a preacher and his mom was a school teacher among other things. He has a sister and they get along great (always have). He had the basic "Leave it to Beaver household". So, I think that is what taught him to be the man that he is.

It is all the little things he does, like doing dishes if I don't feel like it. Cleaning the bathroom, doing laundry (although I would rather do this because he does not fold the towels right (ladies, you know what I am saying here)).

Last night before I got home my daughter got bitten by something and had a allergic reaction, blowing up like a balloon, severe hives all over her body and she started seeing dots. So the wonderful husband that I have whisked her off the the emergency room. I got home to the rest of the kids and they let me know what was going on. But, because my step kids are here and also my grandson was home, I decided to stay home and take care of them instead of taking them all to the hospital and sitting around there. My husband called shortly after and said they had just made an announcement that all the beds were filled in the ER and it would be awhile before some were seen. He told me to just stay where I was, there was no point in all of us sitting in the ER half the night. Finally she was checked out and they got home around 11:15 PM (they were there at 5:30 PM).

She is fine and my point is, he is just so good. My X would have never done that but that will be another post. Have a great day and God Bless

Monday, June 19, 2006

Good Monday Morning...well I am not so sure it is good but it is bound to be better. We had a pretty good weekend. We picked up my husbands 2 kids for the summer so now we have 10 people in our house. We are doing the count down till the kids leave (11 more days till we are 6).

I know that I fuss about the kids being in my house, for heavens sake, it is a mess all the time and frankly I am sooooooo sick of coming home from work and my house being a mess. On the other hand I know that I will miss my grandchildren not living with me. Mostly J because she is the only girl grandchild and she will be 4 in July. She is constantly telling me that we are the team so I know that I will miss having her there. They are only planning on moving a short distance from us but it still will not be the same.

On Saturday I went to walmart and bought her one of those swimsuits that have the life jacket built right in, what a rip off. Yes, it worked for the most part. But the life jacket things ride up and rubbed her chin raw and then when I took it home, I read that you can wash it in warm water so what did I do?? I washed it in warm water, took it out and it is totally ripped up the seams and the life jacket thing is falling out. Jeez!! So, I will be taking that back to the store and having them exchange it. I had to hide it in the closet because I just know that she will have a fit when she sees that it is wrecked.

On another note, I am at work and feeling the need to fuss about one more thing while I can get it out. Do any of you have someone that just bugs the shit out of you at work? Holy man, we have this guy that whistles ALL THE TIME!! This drives most of us crazy but because he is really a nice guy most of the time we don't want to hurt his feelings by telling him to knock that shit off!! Another thing he does is when he comes into the main part of the office (first I have to tell you that looking out of my office, I have all windows, floor to ceiling so that I can see what everyone is doing (or so they can see what I am doing) anyways, when he comes into the main building and is walking past my office he has to knock on every single window, both coming and going back. I try not to look up, thinking that eventually he will not try and get my attention but NO, he just does it again. Any ideas? I don't want to hurt his feelings but what to do, what to do?

Friday, June 16, 2006

Well, I am not so sure what I am doing but I think it is time for me to start a blog. I will start by telling everyone a little about myself. I am married to a very wonderful man, I have been married for almost 4 years now, I have 3 biological children J - a son who is 25, has a wonderful but very blonde sometimes girlfriend (T) and they have 2 wonderful children, JAM is a bright little girl who will be 4 next month and DAM is a very cute little boy who is 6 weeks old. My second child E - is 22 lives in another state and has a little boy (K) who is 3, my youngest (S) is 18, she has a son AJ who will be 7 months shortly. I also have 2 step children, S is 12 and A is 9, they currently live with their mother but eventually they will want to come and live with us. Their mother will start driving them as nuts as she drives us, that is a whole different thing to blog about and I am sure that I will.
Now, let me explain something. In our home, every stinking one of these children live with us except for the 3 fore mentioned. We have given them a deadline of July 1 to move (the family of 4) and hopefully they will stick with that. I think in the 6 years that we have lived in NC, J and T have moved back in with us 4 or 5 times, twice we moved out of the house/apartment and let them have it. So, this time it is different. We cannot move, our house is provided by my husbands place of employment so it is time for the ADULT CHILDREN to MOVE!! Now, don't get me wrong, if they do not have a place to go, I am not going to make them live on the streets. I love my children and especially my grandchildren (I always heard grandchildren are better and I have to agree) but they are adults and it is time that they start acting like adults and get their own place. I think that if they are old enough to make babies, they should be old enough to take care of these wonderful babies. S is still in school so she can stay for a while.
So, that is some background. Thanks for stopping by. I will write more when I can.