AMAZING HOME REMEDIES

1. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY GETTING SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP.

2. AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH THE FEMALES ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET SEAT BY USING THE SINK.

3. FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS ~ SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEED FOR A FEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS. REMEMBER TO USE A TIMER.

4. A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL PREVENT YOU FROM ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP AFTER YOU HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON.

5. IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. THEN YOU'LL BE AFRAID TO COUGH.

6. YOU ONLY NEED TWO TOOLS IN LIFE - WD-40 AND DUCT TAPE. IF IT DOESN'T MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE WD-40. IF IT SHOULDN'T MOVE AND DOES, USE THE DUCT TAPE.

7. IF YOU CAN'T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU'VE GOT AN ELECTRICAL PROBLEM.

DAILY THOUGHT: SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES - NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS.

This is my mom on the left hand side. She is ADORABLE!! and a little silly but so much fun just like me. Today is her 65th birthday and I just have to tell you, there is NO better mother in the world. She does not live close to me but she will be visiting at the end of September and I go there as often as I can. But, I miss her. She sent me this e-mail today and within the first two sentences I had tears in my eyes. So today Mom, it is your day...enjoy it. I love you and miss you more then I could ever tell you.

I think I'll keep you.




One day a mother died.

And on that clear, cold morning,

In the warmth of her bedroom,

The daughter was struck with

The pain of learning that sometimes

There isn't any more.

No more hugs,

No more lucky moments to celebrate together,

No more phone calls just to chat,

No more 'just one minute.'

Sometimes, what we care about the most goes away.

Never to return before we can say good-bye,

Say 'I Love You'

Or

'I Miss You'.

So while we have it ... it's best we love it ...

And care for it and fix it when it's broken ...

And take good care of it when it's sick.

This is true for marriage ... and friendships!

And children with bad report cards;

And dogs with bad hips;

And aging parents and grandparents.

We keep them because they are worth it,

Because we cherish them!

Some things we keep --

Like a best friend who moved away

Or a classmate we grew up with.

There are just some things that

Make us happy, no matter what.


Life is important,

And so are the people we know .

And so, we keep them close!

I received this from someone today

Who thought I was a 'KEEPER'!

Then I sent It to the people

I Think of in the same way!

Now it's your turn to send this to all those people

Who Are 'keepers' in your life!
{ and I'd like to have this back from you :-) }

Thank you very much

For being a special part of MY Life!

Apples and Wine

Women are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree. Most men don't want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they sometimes take the apples from the ground that aren't as good, but easy. The apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when in reality, they are amazing. They just have to wait for the right man to come along, the one who is brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree.

Now men....men are like a fine wine. The begin as grapes and it is up to the women to stomp the shit out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with.

~ Two Little Boys ~
After a hardy rainstorm filled all the potholes in the streets and alleys, a young mother watched her two little boys playing in the puddle through her kitchen window.

The older of the two grabbed his sibling by the back of his head and shoved his face into the water hole.

As the boy recovered and stood laughing and dripping, the mother runs to the yard in a panic.

' Why on earth did you do that to your little brother?!' she asks as she shook the older boy in anger.

'We were just playing 'church' mommy, ' he said.

'And I was just baptizing him.....in the name of the Father, the Son and in...the hole-he-goes.'

PS..... These 2 little boys are my grandsons and I am sure (cough cough) that neither one would push the other's head into a hole. Alex is on top, he will be 3 in December and Damien is on the botton, he just turned 2 in March.

DID YOU KNOW?

Peel a banana from the bottom and you won't have to
pick the little 'stringy things' off of it. That's how the primates do it.



Take your bananas apart when you get home from the store.
If you leave them connected at the stem, they ripen faster.


Store your opened chunks of cheese in aluminum foil.
It will stay fresh much longer and not mold!

Peppers with 3 bumps on the bottom are sweeter and better for eating.
Peppers with 4 bumps on the bottom are firmer and better for cooking.

Add a teaspoon of water when frying ground beef.
It will help pull the grease away from the meat while cooking.

To really make scrambled eggs or omelets rich add a couple of
spoonfuls of sour cream, cream cheese, or heavy cream in and then beat them up.


For a cool brownie treat, make brownies as directed. Melt Andes mints
in double broiler and pour over warm brownies. Let set for a wonderful minty frosting.


Add garlic immediately to a recipe if you want a light taste
of garlic and at the end of the recipe if your want a stronger taste of garlic.

Leftover snickers bars from Halloween make a delicious dessert. Simply
chop them up with the food chopper. Peel, core and slice a few apples. Place them
in a baking dish and sprinkle the chopped candy bars over the apples. Bake at 350
for 15 minutes!!! Serve alone or with vanilla ice cream. Yummm!

Reheat Pizza
Heat up leftover pizza in a nonstick skillet on top of the stove, set heat to med-low
and heat till warm. This keeps the crust crispy. No soggy micro pizza. I saw this on
the cooking channel and it really works.


Easy Deviled Eggs
Put cooked egg yolks in a zip lock bag. Seal, mash till they are all broken up. Add remainder of ingredients, reseal, keep mashing it up mixing thoroughly, cut the tip of the baggy, squeeze mixture into egg. Just throw bag away when done easy clean up.


Expanding Frosting
When you buy a container of cake frosting from the store, whip it with your mixer
for a few minutes. You can double it in size. You get to frost more cake/cupcakes
with the same amount. You also eat less sugar and calories per serving.


Reheating refrigerated bread
To warm biscuits, pancakes, or muffins that were refrigerated, place them in
a microwave with a cup of water. The increased moisture will keep the food
moist and help it reheat faster.

Newspaper weeds away
Start putting in your plants, work the nutrients in your soil. Wet newspapers,
put layers around the plants overlapping as you go cover with mulch and for-
get about weeds. Weeds will get through some gardening plastic they will not
get through wet newspapers.


Broken Glass
Use a wet cotton ball or Q-tip to pick up the small shards of glass you can't see easily.


No More Mosquitoes
Place a dryer sheet in your pocket.
It will keep the mosquitoes away.


Squirrel Away!
To keep squirrels from eating your plants, sprinkle your plants with cayenne pepper.
The cayenne pepper doesn't hurt the plant and the squirrels won't come near it.


Flexible vacuum
To get something out of a heat register or under the fridge add an empty paper towel
roll or empty gift wrap roll to your vacuum. It can be bent or flattened to get in nar-
row openings.

Reducing Static Cling
Pin a small safety pin to the seam of your slip and you will not have a clingy skirt
or dress. Same thing works with slacks that cling when wearing panty hose.
Place pin in seam of slacks and ... ta da! ... static is gone.

Measuring Cups
Before you pour sticky substances into a measuring cup, fill with hot water.
Dump out the hot water, but don't dry cup. Next, add your ingredient, such
as peanut butter, and watch how easily it comes right out.

Foggy Windshield?
Hate foggy windshields? Buy a chalkboard eraser and keep it in the glove box of
your car . When the window s fog, rub with the eraser! Works better than a cloth!

Reopening envelope
If you seal an envelope and then realize you forgot to include something inside,
just place your sealed envelope in the freezer for an hour or two. Viola! It unseals
easily.


Conditioner
Use your hair conditioner to shave your legs. It's cheaper than shaving cream and
leaves your legs really smooth. It's also a great way to use up the conditioner you
bought but didn't like when you tried it in your hair.


Goodbye Fruit Flies
To get rid of pesky fruit flies, take a small glass, fill it 1/2' with Apple Cider Vinegar
and 2 drops of dish washing liquid; mix well. You will find those flies drawn to the
cup and gone forever!


Get Rid of Ants
Put small piles of cornmeal where you see ants. They eat it, take it 'home,' can't
digest it so it kills them. It may take a week or so, especially if it rains, but it works
and you don't have the worry about pets or small children being harmed!


INFO ABOUT CLOTHES DRYERS
The heating unit went out on my dryer! The gentleman that fixes things around the
house for us told us that he wanted to show us something and he went over to the
dryer and pulled out the lint filter. It was clean. (I always clean the lint from the fil-
ter after every load clothes.) He told us that he wanted to show us something; he
took the filter over to the sink and ran hot water over it. The lint filter is made of a
mesh material ... I'm sure you know what your dryer's lint filter looks like. Well ...
the hot water just sat on top of the mesh! It didn't go through it at all! He told us
that dryer sheets cause a film over that mesh that's what burns out the heating unit.
You can't SEE the film, but it's there. It's what is in the dryer sheets to make your
clothes soft and static free ... that nice fragrance too. You know how they can feel
waxy when you take them out of the box ... well this stuff builds up on your clothes
and on your lint screen. This is also what causes dryer units to potentially burn your
house down with it! He said the best way to keep your dryer working for a very long
time (and to keep your electric bill lower) is to take that filter out and wash it with
hot soapy water and an old toothbrush (or other brush) at least every six months.
He said that makes the life of the dryer at least twice as long! How about that!?!
Learn something new everyday! I certainly didn't know dryer sheets would do that.
So, I thought I'd share!

Note: I went to my dryer and tested my screen by running water on it. The water ran
through a little bit but mostly collected all the water in the mesh screen. I washed it
with warm soapy water and a nylon brush and I had it done in 30 seconds. Then when
I rinsed it ... the water ran right thru the screen! There wasn't any puddling at all! T
hat repairman knew what he was talking about!

PLEASE PASS THIS ON TO OTHER PEOPLE IN YOUR ADDRESS BOOK.

I recieved this e-mail today. I wish everyone could see this video, it says it all.


Subject: The Gratitude Campaign
Have you ever seen one of our military walking past you and wanted to convey to them your thanks, but weren't sure how or it felt awkward? Recently, a gentleman from Seattle created a gesture which could be used and has started a massive movement to get the word out.

Please everybody take just a moment to watch – this is a great lesson for the next generations too.... The Gratitude Campaign ...and then forward it to your friends!

Click on below:
http://www.gratitudecampaign.org/shortmovie.php

OK, where was I??? Let's see....job at bank, paid thru checking account, kept writing checks, LOL....memories....sometimes good sometimes bad but still to this day, this make me laugh.

So, my punishment for writing a few bad checks is to go and live with my parents (remember that I am 16 and this is in 1979 (Yippee the 70's...what fun :)

The day after court I get up and clean up my stall, yes Juvenile hall had little stalls back then, no bars just a door...that locked.

I went with 2 deputies to the airport. Have you ever been to the Minneapolis / St. Paul international airport...it is huge!

We get there and they park, we get out and I am looking around...thinking that I will make a break for it. After all, this is the WORST punishment I could have gotten. I was leaving all my friends and I hated that. The lady deputy (let's call her Lucy for lack of a better imagination) decided that I needed to be handcuffed through the airport. So the guy cop (lets call him Mike for that very same reason) says I can be handcuffed in front so it will be easier. Lucy insists that I will have to stay handcuffed the entire flight and someone at the other end will have a key and take them off once I am with my father.

We walk in the door of the airport, everyone is staring at me and whispering, we start going towards security. We start to walk around the thing that you have to walk under because they have guns and I have handcuffs so no metal detector for me. The security guard at the metal detector stops the deputies (because he can do that...ha ha Lucy smart ass cop) and tells them that I will not be getting on an airplane handcuffed. That will NOT happen. He tells them how would they like it if they were handcuffed and the plane started to go down. He tells them that handcuffs are not allowed on the aircraft...(I LOVE THIS GUY!!) So they tell him that they will take them off before I board the plane and we proceed to the gate. I feels eyes on me all the way. I start thinking......for once I am popular and everyone is looking at me (cause I am a smart ass like that). We get to the gate and they board me first (go figure). After everyone boards and we take off I still can hear the whispers...wonder what she did etc... No one is sitting next to me or in the third seat. I just sit there by myself, watching out the window (this is my first flight ever) smoking cigarettes ( I was as thankful that we could smoke back then as I am that no one can smoke now).

Finally someone (a young man probably about 14 or 15 years old comes over and asks me if he can sit by me and if I want to play cards. I said sure and he sits down. We play cards for a while and then he finally asks the question.....

Why were you handcuffed when you got on the plane???

Know what I said.....




Remember I am that smart ass 16 year old.......





I told him that I was a murderer and I had shot a 15 year old punk kid that asked to many questions.



HAHAHAHAHA he got up and left immediately.

I was such a brat!!

Anyways.....2 years later Charlie (my X) came to California and got me. We got married and planned to move to Minnesota. (I really think that is the reason that I married him so fast, I wanted to move back so bad but the judge said that I could not move until I was 21, so I got married, that changed my name.....no problem.)

I did not get into any trouble when we moved back and I didn't look for any. We stayed with him mom for exactly 1 month before he moved out and went to live with a friend of his and left me there with his mother. That is another story in itself.

Good Day!

Good Morning!!

I was checking in with all my blogging buddies and saw the Friday Confession over at Weekend's off. It reminded me of something also so I thought I would follow suit and do a Friday Confession of my own.

When I was 16 I worked at a bank in Minneapolis. The gave all their employees a checking account when they were hired and paid through the checking account instead of giving us a paper check. This is way before direct deposit. This was like well, 28 (OH MY FUC*ING GOD) years ago.

Now this was when I was young and dumb (1979) and thought I was invincible. Smoking pot and an attitude of "I don't have to listen to what you say". I was living with my grandma because my parents decided to move to California and because I refused to move (How could you do this to me....I am 15...I have a job....I have friends....I have high school) they decided that I could stay with grandma. The problem with that was that grandma lived in St. Louis Park and my friend all lived in Minneapolis. We had public transportation but the last bus ran at 9:30 pm and that was the time most of the fun things started so I never wanted to go home. My grandma basically let me do what I wanted but I had to call her and tell her what was happening and because she did not drive anymore she could not come and get me if I missed the bus.

Anyway, I am far away from my story. I quit working at the bank but unfortunately did not stop writing checks. About a month later they were waiting for me when I went to cash a check. I was arrested and taken into custody. I can't really remember how I was released (yes, smoking pot does cause you not to remember things or maybe it is because is was 28 YEARS AGO.

I think they just let me go and I walked home. When it came time for my case to be heard, they came to my house in the morning and arrested me again. They took me to juvenile hall (remember this was 28 YEARS AGO) where I saw several friends that I had lost contact with. One guy was in there for hitting his mother, his brother was in there for hitting his brother for hitting his mother, etc. Anyway, we sat around and talked and smoked cigarettes all day long. (Yes, you could smoke in those days in places like that.)

When I went before the judge, he ordered me to move to California with my parents and not move back to Minnesota until I was at least 21 (yes, really...that was my punishment) They had reduced the charge from felony to misdemeanor simply by me pleading guilty to each check individually instead of all checks as a whole. I do have to tell you that this was the absolute worst thing they could have done to me because that was the last place I wanted to be.

Next time I will tell you about the flight, that is another story in itself.

BTW, thanks for all your prayers for my family and Brandie in her time of need. I talked to her the other day and she was in better spirits, even laughing for a minute but then I think that she feels guilty and stops laughing. It will get better in time.

Just to let you know....

Katie died at approximately 2:30 this afternoon.

She was 46 days old.

My dad is holding her right now.

I am leaving for California Thursday.

Please pray for my family.













;

Meet Katie

Katie is now 6 weeks old.

Last night while breast feeding her mom fell asleep, when she woke up Katie was not breathing.

Katie was taken to the hospital where they worked on her for 20 minutes to get her heart started again.

As of now, she has been transported to the local children's hospital where she is on a respirator, in a coma, has some brain damage (although they are not sure as to what extent) and in critical condition.

This is my great niece, please pray that she will get through this. Please pray that if it is her time to go, she will go quickly and the Lord will wrap his arms around her and our family and help us through this.

The doctor's have told us that it is definitely SIDS and there was nothing anyone could have done to prevent this.

Please pray

Happy Valentines Day !!!

Hope everyone is having a nice Valentines Day. I think that Valentines Day is mostly for girls, what do you think? I mean, guys like presents too but I don't think they like them as much as girls do and I don't think that they care as much as girls do.

My husband and myself do little for Valentines day. We don't make a huge deal about it, I also think Valentines Day is mostly for newly married or boyfriend/girlfriend (or boyfriend / boyfriend, girlfriend / girlfriend) relationships.

Tonight my husband has something planned. He wrote me a poem....wanna hear it???? Hmmmmm I don't know how he would feel about me sharing it here.... oh, what the heck, I am sure that he would not mind and besides although he does know about this blog he does not come here (that I know of).

Ok, Here goes:

It's Valentines Day and I'm ready for love,

Your mind, body and spirit will fly like a dove.

Imagine if you will as you enter our house,

Soft music is playing as I cook for my spouse.

There's candles for lighting around our table tonight,

I want the romance to come off just right.

We enjoy a great mean and conversation too,

We talk about the past, how our dreams have come true.

We walk hand in hand to retire for the night,

The anticipation is climbing higher then a kite.

We kiss, massage and slowly undree,

Your spine tingles with each sweet caress.

We finally reach the point where our bodies unite,

The pace races faster 'til we explode with delight.

We collapse in each others arms with hearts full of joy,

And thank God for our marriage that no one can destroy.

Now really....isn't that one of the best poems ever :)

He is sooooo gonna get some tonight!!

A redneck was stopped by a game warden in Central Mississippi recently with two ice chests

full of fish.

He was leavin' a cove well-known for its fishing.

The game warden asked the man, 'Do you have a license to catch those fish?'

'Naw, sir', replied the redneck. 'I ain't got none of them there licenses.

You must understand, these here are my pet fish.'

'Pet fish?'

'Yeah. Every night, I take these here fish down to the lake and let 'em swim 'round for awhile.

Then, when I whistle, they jump right back into these here ice chests, and I take 'em home.

'That's a bunch of hooey! Fish can't do that.

The redneck looked at the warden for a moment and then said, 'It's the truth, Mr. Government Man.

I'll show ya. It really works.

'O. K.', said the warden. 'I've got to see this!

The redneck poured the fish into the lake and stood and waited.

After several minutes, the warden says, 'Well?

Well, what?, says the redneck.

The warden says, 'When are you going to call them back?

Call who back? 'The FISH', replied the warden!

'What fish?', replied the redneck.

Moral of the story: We may not be as smart as some city slickers, but we ain't as dumb as some

government employees. You can say what you want about the South, but you never hear of anyone retiring and moving north!!!

A man came home from work late, tired and irritated, to find his 5-year old son waiting for him at the door.

SON: 'Daddy, may I ask you a question?'

DAD: 'Yeah sure, what it is?' replied the man.

SON: 'Daddy, how much do you make an hour?'

DAD: 'That's none of your business. Why do you ask such a thing?' the man said angrily.

SON: 'I just want to know. Please tell me, how much do you make an hour?'

DAD: 'If you must know, I make $50 an hour.

SON: 'Oh,' the little boy replied, with his head down.

SON: 'Daddy, may I please borrow $25?

The father was furious, 'If the only reason you asked that is so you can borrow some money to buy a silly toy or some other nonsense, then you march yourself straight to your room and go to bed. Think about why you are being so selfish. I don't work hard everyday for such childish frivolities. The little boy quietly went to his room and shut the door.

The man sat down and started to get even angrier about the little boy's questions. How dare he ask such questions only to get some money? After about an hour or so, the man had calmed down ,and started to think:

Maybe there was something he really needed to buy with that $25.00 and he really didn't ask for money very often. The man went to the door of the little boy's room and opened the door. Are you asleep, son? He asked. 'No daddy, I'm awake, replied the boy.'I've been thinking, maybe I was too hard on you earlier said the man. It's been a long day and I took out my aggravation on you. Here's the $25 you asked for.

The little boy sat straight up, smiling. 'Oh,thank you daddy! He yelled. Then, reaching under his pillow he pulled out some crumpled up bills. The man saw that the boy already had money, started to get angry again. The little boy slowly counted out his money, and then looked up at his father. Why do you want more money if you already have some the father grumbled.

Because I didn't have enough, but now I do,' the little boy replied. 'Daddy, I have $50 now. Can I buy an hour of your time?

Please come home early tomorrow. I would like to have dinner with you.

The father was crushed. He put his arms around his little son, and he begged for his forgiveness.

It's just a short reminder to all of you working so hard in life. We should not let time slip through our fingers without having spent some time with those who really matter to us, those close to our hearts.

Do remember to share that $50 worth of your time with someone you love.

If we die tomorrow, the company that we are working for could easily replace us in a matter of hours.

But the family & friends we leave behind will feel the loss for the rest of their lives.

Can I Borrow $25?

Just a note to let you all know, on the top of this post is a picture of my daddy. He passed away in April of 2003 and I would give any amount of money to just have one more day with him, to tell him how much I love him and to let him know that I will see him again someday.

A nurse on the pediatric ward, before listening to the little ones chests, would plug the stethoscope into their ears and let them listen to their own hearts.

Their eyes would always light up with awe, but she never got a response equal to four-year old David's comment.

Gently she tucked the stethoscope into his ears and placed the disk over his heart. 'Listen', she said...........'What do you suppose that is?

He drew his eyebrows together in a puzzled line and looked up as if lost in the mystery of the strange tap - tap - tapping deep in his chest.

Then his face broke out in a wondrous grin and he asked, 'Is that Jesus knocking?'

This is not the picture that came on the e-mail, this is my grandson. He is just too cute not to put up here.

God Bless everyone!!

I have been tagged by my friend over at http://weekendsoff.blogspot.com/ , go to her site and check her out, she is hilarious!! But for now I just wanted to share something I received in an e-mail this morning..... Dementia......

Got this in an e-mail this morning....Everyone, please enjoy and have a very merry Christmas.

Every year, I promised it would be different. Each December, I vowed to make Christmas a calm and peaceful experience. But, once again, in spite of my plans, chaos prevailed. I had cut back on what I deemed nonessential obligations: extensive card writing, endless baking, Martha Stewart decorating, and, yes, even the all-American pastime, overspending. Yet still I found myself exhausted, unable to appreciate the precious family moments, and, of course, the true meaning of Christmas.

My son, Nicholas, was in kindergarten that year. It was an exciting season for a six-year-old, filled with hopes, dreams and laughter. For weeks, he’d been memorizing songs for his school’s upcoming Winter Pageant.

I didn’t have the heart to tell him I’d be working the night of the production. Not willing to miss his shining moment, I spoke with his teacher. She assured me there’d be a dress rehearsal in the morning, and that all parents unable to attend the evening presentation were welcome to enjoy it then. Fortunately, Nicholas seemed happy with the compromise.

So, just as I promised, I filed in ten minutes early, found a spot on the cafeteria floor and sat down. When I looked around the room, I saw a handful of parents quietly scampering to their seats. I began to wonder why they, too, were attending a dress rehearsal, but chalked it up to the chaotic schedules of modern family life.

As I waited, the students were led into the building. Each class, accompanied by their teacher, sat crossed-legged on the floor. The children would become members of the audience as each group, one by one, rose to perform their song. Because the public school system had long stopped referring to the holiday as “Christmas,” I didn’t expect anything other than fun, commercial entertainment. The Winter Pageant was filled with songs of reindeer, Santa Claus, snowflakes and good cheer. The melodies were fun, cute and lighthearted. But nowhere to be found was even the hint of an innocent babe, a manger, or Christ’s precious, sacred gifts of life, hope and joy.

When my son’s class rose to sing “Christmas Love,” I was slightly taken aback by its bold title. However, within moments, I settled in to watch them proudly begin their number. Nicholas was aglow, as were all of his classmates, adorned in fuzzy mittens, red sweaters and bright snowcaps upon their heads. Those in the front row, center stage, held up large letters, one by one, to spell out the title of the song. As the class would sing “C is for Christmas,” a child would hold up the letter C. Then, “H is for Happy,” and on and on, until each child holding up his or her portion had presented the complete message, “Christmas Love.

”The performance was going smoothly, until suddenly, we noticed her, a small, quiet girl in the front row holding the letter M, upside-down! She was entirely unaware that reversed, her letter M appeared as a W. She fidgeted from side to side, until she had moved away from her mark entirely. The audience of children snickered at this little one’s mistakes. In her innocence, she had no idea they were laughing at her and stood tall, proudly holding her W.

You can only imagine the difficulty in calming an audience of young, giggling children. Although many teachers tried to shush them, the laughter continued. It continued, that is, until the moment the last letter was raised, and we all saw it together. A hush came over the audience and eyes began to widen. In that instant, we finally understood the reason we were there, why we celebrated in the first place, why even in the chaos, there was a purpose for our festivities. For, when the last letter was held high, the message read loud and clear, “CHRIST WAS LOVE.” And, I believe, He still is.

My friend over at weekends off thinks I died so I better just get on with it...

OK, so this is my 100th post...

I have been sitting here for over a week and a half trying to think of something "witty" to say or do on this 100th post. But....nothing....nada...zilch!!

I will tell you (with a smile on my face) that my daughter and her son are back on NC soil as we speak. They will be staying with me for a while. Sarah is going to go back to school so she can get a better job to support herself and her son. AND....speaking of her son, my 3rd grandchild...the little shit!

We are on the way to Taco Bell (because it is so healthy) today at lunchtime and all of a sudden I hear it....loud and clear...coming from the back seat of my car....this child that is going to be 2 on Thursday....a very loud and clear "Damn". So, what do I do??? I laugh (oh please, you would have laughed too) I really laugh, which tickles him and he says it over and over again. I choose to ignore this behavior until he says just as cute as can be....grandma......grandma (ok, it sounds more like mommy but he is calling me, I assure you) finally I say "what is it Alex?" and he says "damn" and laughs. Thankfully I am back at work at this time and so I just tell him that grandma will see him after work and they drive away. Hopefully when they come to pick me up he will have forgotten it, I don't know though, he remembers really good.

This morning he went behind the shelves and found his squishy (pacifier, that he has not had for almost a week now) and comes out looks right at his mom and says "ha ha". What a hoot this kid is!

I am almost done with Christmas. I bought the adult children a few things and I will give them each some money. I have bought the grand kids too much (at least that is what my husband has told me, said there are at least 50 presents under the tree, I am sure he is just exaggerating). This is my holiday. I love giving presents. I buy my son (who is 26 this year) a toy every year, don't ask me why, I just do. Usually it is just something small, like a nerf gun or something like that. This year I bought him rock em sock em robots. He is going to die!!

Now, I will update you on Brandie...because I just got a call and well, I am sure you want to know LOL!

Brandie is in her 7th or 8th month of pregnancy. She has been off the drugs and away from that puke Mark for almost 6 months. She is doing well. She was going to put this baby up for adoption and had gone as far as to talk with a private adoption office but suffice to say, not going to happen. When Mark was contacted he decided that he does not want to give the baby up and if Brandie is not willing to keep the baby, he will take the child and raise her himself. NOT GOING TO HAPPEN! Brandie will keep this child and raise her. She has gone to all her parenting classes and has gone through rehab. she is on her way to being a better parent. Has everyone forgiven her....No. Will they? Yes, I think so. My mom has let her stay with her for a few days and has forgiven her. My younger sister was really mad about this but I explained that if it was my granddaughter, I would do the same thing and so would she. I know this is going to be difficult for everyone but the Lord above wants nothing more then for us to forgive.

I am still very angry with Brandie, mostly because although she acted like she was sorry, she never said the words....until today.

My sister (not her mother) was taking her to an appointment and she finally said that she knows what she did was wrong, she knows that she was a terrible parent and she is soo soo sorry for everything that happened. She has to live with this everyday. She can only speak with her children on Wednesdays and Saturdays and she now knows that is just not enough. Their dad has really turned into not so good of a parent either. I think they are better off right now where they are but he is a low life and does not know how to parent either. He and his girlfriend break up every other day and fight like cats and dogs. I don't think this is a good environment either.

What is going to happen? I have not a clue. I would love to see Brandie get her shit together, I know that Russell would love to send the kids back (he is just so tired of being a parent, waaa waa waa) I don't think Brandie is ready yet. She has gone on a housing list, she has, like I said finished parenting classes, she has already got day care set up for the baby when she comes and she has been looking for a job (everyone tells her not to bother right now, no one is going to hire her) but it is looking up.

I think that part of our little dysfunctional family is going to finally come together.

Merry Christmas Everyone. Remember the reason for the season.

Muah

A Thanksgiving Wish

A game warden was driving down the road when he came upon a young boy carrying a wild turkey under his arm.

He stopped and asked the boy, 'Where did you get that turkey?'

The boy replied, 'What turkey?'

The game warden said, 'That turkey you're carrying under your arm.'

The boy looks down and said, 'Well, lookee here, a turkey done roosted under my arm!'

The game warden said, 'Now look, you know turkey season is closed,

So whatever you do to that turkey, I'm going to do to you.

If you break his leg, I'm gonna break your leg.

If you break his wing, I'll break your arm.

Whatever you do to him, I'll do to you.

So, what are you gonna do with him?' The little boy said,

'I guess I'll just kiss his ass and let him go!'

May your stuffing be tasty

May your turkey plump,

May your potatoes and gravy have never a lump.

May your yams be delicious

And your pies take the prize,

And may your Thanksgiving dinner

Stay off of your thighs!

Happy Thanksgiving!

The Stella Awards

Thats right folks, it is time again for the Stella Awards:

For those unfamiliar with these awards, they are named after 81-year-old Stella Liebeck who spilled hot coffee on herself and successfully sued the McDonald's in New Mexico where she purchased the coffee.

You remember, she took the lid off the coffee and put it between her knees while she was driving. Who would ever think one could get burned doing that, right? That's right; these are awards for the most outlandish lawsuits and verdicts in the U.S. You know, the kinds of cases that make you scratch your head. So keep your head scratcher handy.Here are the Stella's for the past year:

7TH PLACE:Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas was awarded $80,000 by a jury of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running inside a furniture store. The store owners were understandably surprised by the verdict, considering the running toddler was her own son.

6TH PLACE:Carl Truman, 19, of Los Angeles, California won $74,000 plus medical expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Truman apparently didn't notice there was someone at the wheel of the car when he was trying to steal his neighbor's hubcaps.Go ahead, grab your head scratcher.

5TH PLACE:Terrence Dickson, of Bristol, Pennsylvania, who was leaving a house he had just burglarized by way of the garage. Unfortunately for Dickson, the automatic garage door opener malfunctioned and he could not get the garage door to open. Worse, he couldn't re-enter the house because the door connecting the garage t o the house locked when Dickson pulled it shut. Forced to sit for eight, count 'em, EIGHT, days on a case of Pepsi and a large bag of dry dog food, he sued the homeowner's insurance company claiming undue mental Anguish.Amazingly, the jury said the insurance company must pay Dickson $500,000 for his anguish. We should all have this kind of anguish.Keep scratching. There are more...

4TH PLACE:Jerry Williams, of Little Rock , Arkansas , garnered 4th Place in the Stella's when he was awarded $14,500 plus medical expenses after being bitten on the butt by his next door neighbor's beagle - even though the beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced yard. Williams did not get as much as he asked for because the jury believed the beagle might have been provoked at the time of the butt bite because Williams had climbed over the fence into the yard and repeatedly shot the dog with a pellet gun.Grrr rr ... Scratch, scratch.

3RD PLACE:Amber Carson of Lancaster, Pennsylvania because a jury ordered a Philadelphia restaurant to pay her $113,500 after she slipped on a spilled soft drink and broke her tailbone. The reason the soft drink was on the floor: Ms. Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument. What ever happened to people being responsible for their own actions?Scratch, scratch, scratch. Hang in there; there are only two more Stella's to go...

2ND PLACE:Kara Walton, of Claymont , Delaware sued the owner of a night club in a nearby city because she fell from the bathroom window to the floor, knocking out her two front teeth. Even though Ms. Walton was trying to sneak through the ladies room window to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge, the jury said the night club had to pay her $12,000....oh, yeah,plus dental expenses. Go figure.

1ST PLACE: (May I have a fanfare played on 50 kazoos please)This year's runaway First Place Stella Award winner was Mrs. Merv Grazinski, of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, who purchased a new 32-foot Winnebago motor home. On her first trip home, from an OU football game, having driven on to the freeway, she set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the driver's seat to go to the back of the Winnebago to make herself a sandwich. Not surprisingly, the motor home left the freeway, crashed and overturned. Also not surprisingly, Mrs. Grazinski sued Winnebago for not putting in the owner's manual that she couldn't actually leave the driver's seat while the cruise control was set. The Oklahoma jury awarded her, are you sitting down, $1,750,000 PLUS a new motor home. Winnebago actually changed their manuals as a result of this suit, just in case Mrs. Grazinski has any relatives who might also buy a motor home.

Are we, as a society, getting more stupid...?

Happy Birthday to my daughter....

Today you are 20, and yes it does make me feel old. This is my youngest child. The one that is most like me even if neither one of us wants to admit it.

She is far away...in Texas, and I miss both of them terribly. But, I soooo want her to be happy. I don't want her to have another broken heart.

She is very opinionated

She is very smart

She is very funny

She is very cute....takes after her mother once again

She falls in love so easily and because SOME men are jerks, falls very hard

She is my friend and I miss her.

Darling, I hope that you had a wonderful birthday. I wish I could have been there with you on this day.