Good Morning :)

I know, I have been bad. I should have updated earlier but I seem to always be so busy. I promise that I will try and get here more often.

Sarah is out of the hospital and seems to be doing much much better. Her place of employment called her once again and offered her another job. She is to start on the 5th of February but is looking for another job in the meantime. I don't think she needs to go back to a job that has laid her off 3 times. Where is the stability there? She says that she needs a job and I agree with her. I cannot continue to pay her bills and mine as well but I just hate the thought of her going back to that place to work again. I think that the medication she is on is helping her immensely. She is the happy, playful girl again. I am just really really scared that she will go back to that place again and this time not want to tell us about it for fear that she will go back in the hospital. I don't know, maybe I am just babbling here, maybe it won't happen and everything will go back to normal. Not that normal was really good, she could be such a bit....well, she could be not so nice of a person sometimes and you all know me....Miss Sunshine, so I don't have any idea where she could have gotten that from.:)

The rest of the family is doing great. We will have David's kids this weekend, I am sure that they will tell us that they do not feel good and want to stay with their mom (because that is what they have done the last 4 or 5 times we have gone to pick them up) and we will do what we always do, tell them they will be fine and to get into the car. They are always fine once they are in the car and away from their mother but I think that initially they do not want to come to our house because we have rules that must be followed, mom does not. We do not allow sitting on your butt playing games (playstation, gamecube etc.) all day or sitting on your butt watching TV all day either. This is just not acceptable at our house. David's son is 13 years old and weighs about 240 lbs. He is a very big boy and although his mother keeps telling us that he is on a diet, we find out that they go out to McDonalds or some other fast food restaurant at least 3 or 4 times a week (she does not like to cook) and he is eating whatever he wants on the menu. Not you have to imagine, I have been in this family for almost 6 years and I have never had a meal with David's son that he has not asked for seconds or thirds. We do not keep him on a diet, we don't think that is fair (Amanda is 10 and she is a skinny little girl) We do however watch his portions on his food and we strictly don't let them drink soda unless it is a special occasion. Anyway, I will tell you more about that some other time. My point was going to be that we are finally going to be able to do a family portrait this weekend.

This is getting way long winded. Everyone, please have a great day and thanks for coming to my site, reading , commenting and showing your love. I love you all too.

UPDATE

I know that I have been extremely absent lately. So much has happened this week. I will tell you more about what has been happening in Sarah's life.

On Monday I left work early to go to the doctor, I have a viral infection of some kind and she did not want me to go back to work until at least Thursday. I told her that I would give her Tuesday but I cannot guarantee the rest of the week. (I HATE staying home all day long). Anyway... I get home and my older daughter is at my house doing laundry. When she finished she called Sarah to come and get her and Sarah asked if my husband could drive her home. They all piled into the van and left. A few minutes later my husband came back with Sarah and the baby. Sarah was a mess. She had been crying (I know that I told you all that she had been laid off at work but I don't think that I had told you that she had been called back 2 times and laid off again 2 times, extremely depressing) She came in and asked if she could just stay with us that night. No problem. My husband started to talk to her (he is a therapist) and she admitted to him that if someone would have been home with her so that she knew her son would be alright she probably would have killed herself. When David asked her on a scale of one to one hundred with one being not really and one hundred being if I had a gun right now I would blow my head off where was she, she stated that she really just did not know. (Later my husband told me that is what worried him, the "I don't know". He knew that if she answered a small number we really did not have to worry and if she would have answered a high number we did not have to worry, telling me that had she stated 100, he would have thought maybe this was an attention thing because if someone says 100, they would have done it already, not telling anyone.) He told her that he was going to make a phone call in the morning and he wanted to take her to someone to talk to. He said that because he is her step father and he loves her, he cannot do any therapy with her.

So, on Tuesday he went into work and called a friend of his. He brought Sarah to see the therapist and after talking to Sarah for about an hour decided that she needed to be hospitalized. She agreed.

She has been in the hospital since Tuesday, she is getting better and I think she really needed this. David and I have the baby and let me tell you, I am just not used to having a baby to deal with 24/7. He is just the love of my life but I need a break (see, I am at work today and he is at home with his papa, he-he)

So, that is what is going on in my world lately. Hope everything is going great for everyone else.

Ok, I am going to leave you all with some kind of buzz. I am kinda at a loss for words and don't really know how much I can tell you but I think I need to tell someone and I can't tell anyone here.

My daughter has been very very depressed lately. She is 19 and has a year old son :), Recently her and her sister moved into their own house across the street from my son and his family. All has been going well. At the beginning of the week she got laid off from work and then a tumble down effect started to happen. Finally she went to the doctor today and he put her on some new anti depressant medication. He also said that he was going to refer her to a psychologist. As she is telling me this she is crying, said that she had to tell him things that she has never told anyone, like not even me!!

I just tell her that everything is going to be better now and asked if she wanted to tell me. She did. She told me that when she was about 6 years old my kids had a friend named Seth...YES THAT'S RIGHT, I AM GOING TO TELL EVERYONE THAT LITTLE ASSHOLES NAME, SETH...FROM MARTELL, WISCONSIN...THE LITTLE BOY THAT HIS PARENTS THOUGHT HE COULD DO NO WRONG....LET ME TELL YOU...HE DID WRONG!!!!!

OK, sorry. Apparently when she was young and they were outside playing (I think he was about 9 or 10) he made her pull her pants down. Now, she cannot remember exactly what happened. She is sure something bad happened but she thinks she has blocked it out.

In March I am going to Minnesota for a friends sons wedding. I will be about 45 minutes from where I lived in Wisconsin. I don't know if that little asshole is there but I will find out. I never thought I would do this either, but I am going to contact my X husband and let him know. I want him to find him. I want him to know that as Sarah's parents....WE KNOW!!!! It took her about 13 years to tell me but now I know.

Please keep her in your thoughts and prayers and I promise I will be back next week and let you know how the weekend went, Christmas and New Years. Not alot to tell but we had a good time.

Love and Miss you all!!