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Wednesday, September 06, 2006

THE TOP 10 THOUGHTSTO PONDER ABOUT LIFE
NO. 10:Life is sexually transmitted.

NO. 9:Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

NO. 8:Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.

NO. 7:Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.

NO. 6:Some people are like a Slinky -- not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.

NO. 5:Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

NO. 4:All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

NO. 3:Why does a slight tax increase cost you $200 and a substantial tax cut saves you 30 cents?

NO.2:In the 60s, people took acid to make the world weird. Now The world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

And the # 1 thought to ponder:


NO. 1:We know exactly where one cow with Mad-cow-disease is located among the millions and millions of cows in America but we haven't got a clue as to where thousands of illegal immigrants and terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of immigration!

3 comments:

Billy said...

No.1 was kick ass! Those were so funny!

Anonymous said...

Found you!

Weekends Off said...

That was great! I love # 1 too!